Diary of a Semi-Retired Black Dominatrix
Well, I thought I’d share a couple of things that have happened recently, because sometimes I do wonder about the people who end up in my inbox!
Being a semi-retired Black Dominatrix in London means I’m a little more selective about how I spend my time these days. I still enjoy meeting interesting people, but I’m certainly not interested in spending hours answering emails that go absolutely nowhere.
I’ve been doing this long enough to know that not every enquiry is going to turn into a session. That’s perfectly normal, and I don’t expect everyone who contacts me to book.
But there are definitely different types of people who get in touch, and some are more amusing than others.
The Gentleman Who Disappeared
I recently had someone contact me saying they were interested in arranging a session.
Nothing particularly unusual about that. I receive enquiries, answer questions and discuss possible sessions with people regularly.
Anyway, I replied, and that was the end of it.
He disappeared!
Perhaps he changed his mind. Perhaps he got nervous. Perhaps something else came up. Who knows?
I wasn’t particularly bothered, although I’m not a fan of time wasters.
One thing I’ve learnt over the years is not to invest too much time into an enquiry before somebody has paid their deposit.
Some people are genuinely interested in booking. Others are curious, and some seem to enjoy the process of enquiring more than the idea of actually attending a session.
And sometimes people simply change their minds, which is absolutely fine.
I’m not going to chase somebody around asking whether they still want to book. If they’re interested, they know where to find me.
I’ve got plenty of other things to be getting on with!
A Familiar Fantasy From a New Email Address
Now, the second situation is a little more interesting.
There’s a particular sub who has emailed me quite a few times.
They have a very specific fantasy, and they seem to enjoy telling me about it. Again and again.
I recognise their style of writing and the sort of things they ask for, so when another email arrived recently, I had a feeling I knew exactly who it was.
Except this time, they were using a different email address.
I had to laugh.
The email address might have changed, but the fantasy certainly hadn’t!
There it was, the same familiar story and the same sort of requests.
What I found particularly interesting was that they were completely ignoring my current session offerings.
I’ve made changes to the experiences I offer, and the information is available on my website. It’s not particularly difficult to find.
Yet here was another email describing what they wanted, almost as though none of that information existed.
I do wonder whether they thought I wouldn’t recognise them.
Perhaps they simply assumed I’d forgotten our previous conversations.
Either way, I recognised the pattern immediately.
Some People Just Enjoy Writing the Emails
Something I’ve noticed over the years is that certain people seem much more interested in writing about their fantasies than actually arranging a session.
They’ll contact you asking whether you offer something, explain their interests in great detail and then ask for advice about how things might work.
You answer their questions, and then another email arrives.
And another.
Eventually, you start to wonder whether they’re actually planning to book anything at all.
I don’t mind somebody having questions, especially if they’re new to something or feeling nervous.
I understand that approaching a Mistress can be quite daunting for some people.
But there’s a difference between somebody asking genuine questions because they’re considering a booking and somebody repeatedly emailing because they enjoy having an audience for their fantasies.
And I think some people forget that answering emails takes time.
If I’m spending twenty minutes replying to somebody who has absolutely no intention of booking, that’s twenty minutes I could have spent doing something else.
It’s not that every conversation has to result in a booking. Of course it doesn’t.
But I do think there should be some consideration for the other person’s time.
Being a Regular Emailer Doesn’t Make You a Regular Client
This is something I find quite funny.
Some people seem to think that because they’ve been emailing you for years, there’s automatically some sort of established relationship.
But being a regular emailer isn’t the same as being a regular client.
They’re two very different things!
A regular client is somebody I’ve actually spent time with, got to know and developed a connection with through our sessions.
Somebody who sends me the same fantasy every few months is simply somebody who emails me regularly.
And changing your email address doesn’t suddenly make you a new person!
I appreciate people who are thoughtful, respectful and proactive.
Being proactive and forward thinking is important to me.
I’ve written before about successful submissive traits, and I think paying attention and respecting somebody’s time are important qualities.
If somebody wants to arrange a session, I like them to take the time to read my website, understand what I currently offer and then contact me with a genuine enquiry.
I don’t expect everyone to know everything, but I do appreciate a little effort.
Why I Don’t Take It Too Seriously Anymore
I think one of the advantages of having done this for years is that you begin to recognise certain patterns.
The enthusiastic enquiry that goes nowhere.
The person who asks endless questions but never makes a booking.
The familiar fantasy that keeps appearing in your inbox.
And, apparently, the occasional attempt at a new identity through a different email address!
I used to invest more time in some of these conversations, but these days I’m a little more selective.
Being semi-retired has made me appreciate my time even more. I don’t feel the need to entertain every enquiry that comes my way.
I don’t see the point in getting annoyed every time somebody disappears after an enquiry. It happens, and there are far more interesting things to think about.
As for the repeated fantasy emails, I can appreciate that somebody might enjoy imagining a particular experience. But that doesn’t mean I need to keep entertaining the same conversation.
I like people to be held accountable, and that includes respecting my time and the boundaries I’ve set.
Anyway, That’s My Little Update
I genuinely enjoy meeting interesting people, and I’ve had some lovely experiences with clients over the years.
That’s one of the reasons I enjoy what I do. People are fascinating, and everyone has their own interests and personalities.
Some of my interests have even inspired articles on the website, including my explanation of what sploshing is.
But I also have a life outside my inbox!
So if you’re thinking of contacting me, please have a read through my current session offerings first.
If you’re genuinely interested in booking, wonderful. Tell me what you’re interested in from my current offerings, and we can take it from there.
If you change your mind, that’s fine too.
And if you’ve already sent me the same fantasy several times, perhaps ask yourself whether sending it from another email address is really going to make much difference.
Because chances are, I’ve already worked out who you are!
Until next time,
Miss Nicole
