DOMINATRIX DIARIES | GODDESS NICOLE
Professional domination started as a novelty, but over time it really does take over your time.
Getting paid to do kinks I enjoyed was fun, and I liked exploring different things and seeing what unusual requests people came up with.
I still get some interesting messages now. Sometimes people ask for random scenes that are different from the norm, and I might think, hmm, that could be fun. Other times I just find them interesting to read!
But over the years, I gradually started stepping back from doing it full time.
I became busier with other projects, had quite a few bad experiences and started to realise that although I enjoyed domination, I didn’t necessarily enjoy having to do it at a particular time and day.
Which is quite funny when you think about it. I’m supposed to be the one in control, but I’ve got men booking appointments and telling me exactly what they want me to do.
Were the subs domming me?!
When Domination Becomes an Appointment
A lot of men would come with a shopping list of kinks they wanted fulfilled.
And that’s fine. It’s professional domination, after all. They’re paying for a service, and I would only agree to things I actually wanted to do.
It was fun to be paid to do the kinks I liked, but it was also about time management and making sure my mood and energy matched that session.
That’s the part I started to dislike.
Say I’ve only slept five hours and wake up feeling tired. I might just want to chill, eat something nice and be pampered that day.
But instead, I’ve got a full on dark tantra scene booked because someone paid a deposit.
Now I’ve got to get myself ready for that.
Even if I normally enjoy the activities, it doesn’t mean I particularly feel like doing them that afternoon.
Obviously, it’s a job, and like any job you can’t just flake out because you’re not feeling it.
Well, you can, but then you’ve got to send their deposit back, rearrange things and sort out the inconvenience to them.
And that’s exactly what I didn’t want anymore.
I naturally domme people anyway, but it’s in my own schedule and flow.
When you’re doing professional sessions, even if the activities are fun, it’s not necessarily naturally occurring.
Someone has booked you for a certain time, and now you’ve got to be ready to perform.
After a while, I found that a bit exhausting.
Too Much Male Sexual Energy
Another thing that put me off was the constant messages.
Your phone would have intense or completely off key messages in it all the time.
Some were funny, some were interesting, but plenty were just annoying.
And after quite a few bad experiences and time wasters, I started to lose interest in dealing with it all.
I also realised I didn’t want that much male sexual energy around me.
A lot of the conversations were focused on what the men wanted sexually, what kinks they wanted fulfilled and what they expected from a session.
I don’t have a problem with people having fetishes. I have plenty of my own interests!
But I didn’t want to spend so much of my time dealing with other people’s sexual fantasies.
Especially when I had other projects I wanted to concentrate on.
And to be honest, I was getting bored of repeating some of the same activities.
That doesn’t mean I stopped enjoying them. I just didn’t necessarily want to keep doing them on demand.
I Prefer Service Submissives Now
There also weren’t that many service submissives around.
Most men wanted their kink fulfilled and then wanted to go.
Again, that’s fine if that’s what someone is looking for, but I started to prefer more natural relationships where I could dominate someone without having to plan a full scene every time I saw them.
I like submissives who are useful, loyal, help with practical things and respect my time, including financially.
If a submissive is coming over to hang out and help with things, I can naturally weave in domination if I feel like it.
Or I can just have them get on with it.
Maybe I want to be playful and tease them. Maybe I feel like being stricter. Or maybe I just want to sit around eating while they do the jobs I’ve given them.
There’s no pressure to give someone the particular session they’ve requested when I’d rather just chill.
Obviously, we’d already have an understanding of our likes, dislikes and boundaries.
And if they’re coming as a service submissive and paying tribute, the arrangement is understood beforehand. It doesn’t mean I’ve agreed to perform a particular BDSM scene every time they visit.
I find that much more enjoyable.
I also like life coaching with kink because it gives more meaning to the sessions.
Helping someone with discipline, self control, accountability and personal development interests me.
I’m not necessarily interested in ballbusting someone or putting a smelly sock in their mouth just for fun. I like the idea of using an agreed dynamic to teach someone something and help them work towards their goals.
Of course, sometimes kink is just fun, and that’s fine too.
I just like having the choice.
So Am I Actually Retired?
Not completely.
I still check my messages and see what’s around.
If someone sends me an interesting request, it’s something I enjoy, and I’ve got the time and energy for it, I might arrange a session.
I’m just not trying to fill my diary with appointments anymore.
I don’t particularly miss doing it full time. I prefer having the freedom to concentrate on other projects and decide what I feel like doing.
Other professional Dominatrices might love having a busy schedule and lots of different sessions. That’s great if it suits them.
It just wasn’t for me anymore.
I still enjoy domination, and I naturally dominate people anyway. I just prefer it when things flow rather than having to be ready for a particular scene at a set time.
Sometimes I want to do something fun and unusual.
Sometimes I want to help a submissive develop discipline and accountability.
And sometimes I just want to be pampered and have someone else get on with things.
So, were the subs actually domming me?
Not really. They were booking a service, and I was agreeing to provide it.
But it is quite funny that I was supposed to be the one in control while organising my time, mood and energy around what someone else wanted.
These days, I’d rather just see what comes along and choose the things that suit me.
Much less pressure, and much more enjoyable.
Goddess Nicole
Semi Retired London Dominatrix