So, You Want to Satisfy an Ebony Dominatrix?
You can start before you’ve even met me.
I notice how someone communicates from their very first email. If I’ve asked you questions, answer them. Read the information I’ve already taken the time to put on my website. Introduce yourself properly and tell me what you’re actually interested in.
I much prefer an email that starts with “Dear Mistress Nicole” and ends with a proper sign-off such as “Sincerely, sub” than a message that simply says “available?”
It might sound basic, but you’d be surprised.
I’m a Black Dominatrix in London, and people also find me when searching for an Ebony Dominatrix or Ebony Mistress in London. I’ve met all kinds of submissives over the years. Some are very experienced, some are still exploring, some genuinely love obedience and others simply have a particular kink they want to enjoy.
You don’t need to perform some exaggerated version of submission to impress me.
Be respectful. Communicate properly. Listen. Enjoy yourself.
Cute gifts don’t hurt either.
Good Communication Starts Before the Session
One of the quickest ways to make a good impression on me is simply communicating properly.
If I ask you several questions and you reply while ignoring half of them, I’m probably going to find that irritating. I’m asking because I need the information to understand what you’re looking for and whether I’m the right person for you.
I also don’t particularly enjoy one-line messages, people trying to negotiate my prices, demanding messages or receiving someone’s entire explicit fantasy before they’ve even introduced themselves.
And please don’t expect endless free conversation before you’ve booked.
Good communication doesn’t need to mean writing me an essay. It means being polite, answering what I’ve asked and being clear about what you want.
I Do Like Obedience
I enjoy an obedient submissive. If I’m giving you instructions during a session, I expect you to listen and respond to them.
That doesn’t mean BDSM needs to become your entire personality.
Some people are seriously into BDSM because it’s simply something they really enjoy. That’s absolutely fine with me. It’s fun helping someone explore the things they’re interested in, particularly when I can see they’re genuinely enjoying the experience.
I like reactions. I like seeing someone relax enough to trust me. I like someone being responsive to what I’m doing, and I also like being able to laugh and have fun during a session.
Dominance doesn’t have to mean we’re both deadly serious for several hours.
Fantasy and Reality Aren’t Always the Same
I generally prefer someone who has at least some experience, but being new to BDSM doesn’t mean you can’t see me.
What I do want first-timers to understand is that something you’ve imagined for years can feel very different when it’s actually happening.
You might discover that you love something you weren’t sure about. You might also discover that the thing you’ve fantasised about isn’t nearly as enjoyable in reality as it was in your head.
That’s why communication matters.
If something doesn’t feel right, tell me. If you need something adjusted, communicate that. Don’t stay silent because you think being submissive means you’re not allowed to have boundaries.
Ignoring my boundaries is a problem, but failing to communicate your own boundaries can be a problem too.
Don’t Treat Me Like a Kink Vending Machine
This is probably one of the biggest differences between someone I enjoy spending time with and someone I don’t.
I’m not here for you to insert money, press a button and receive whatever fantasy you’ve constructed in your head.
Tell me what interests you, of course. That’s part of planning a session. But there’s a difference between communicating your interests and trying to manipulate the whole interaction until I perform exactly the fantasy you’ve already written for me.
I have my own personality, boundaries and way of doing things.
That’s part of the reason you’ve chosen to see me rather than somebody else.
If You Worship My Feet, Actually Worship Them
Foot worship is a good example of where keeping things simple can make a session much more enjoyable.
If you’ve booked me for Foot Worship in London, then I want you to actually enjoy worshipping my feet.
Massage them. Kiss them. Pamper them. Follow my direction. Take your time.
I genuinely enjoy being able to relax while someone concentrates on my feet, especially when they clearly have a genuine appreciation for them.
If you have a foot fetish, tell me what it is about feet that particularly interests you. People enjoy feet in different ways, and knowing what attracts you helps me understand you better.
What I don’t appreciate is someone booking a chilled foot worship session and then gradually trying to slide additional BDSM or domination into it.
If you want more than worshipping my feet, ask me beforehand. We can discuss a more involved session, but that is a different service and is priced accordingly.
Don’t book me to relax while you worship my feet and then spend the session trying to sneak extras into it.
Want to Be Useful to Me?
Service submission is different again.
If you want to be useful to me, then actually being useful goes a long way.
I appreciate service submissives who are proactive, reliable and have practical skills. If you tell me you’re going to do something, follow through with it.
Being in my presence isn’t automatically a service to me.
Driving, research, websites, SEO, photography, video editing, admin, cooking, fixing things, programming, translation or another genuine skill can all be useful depending on what I need.
Being proactive and forward thinking is important to me.
If this is the type of submission you’re interested in, I’ve also written about the useful skills a service submissive can develop.
Things That Don’t Impress Me
Saying you’re going to do something and then repeatedly not doing it doesn’t impress me.
Neither does needing constant reassurance while presenting yourself as someone who wants to serve.
Trying to manipulate me into fulfilling your fantasy, ignoring boundaries, failing to communicate your own boundaries or treating me as though I’m simply there to provide a list of kinks isn’t going to make our time together enjoyable.
Submission should still involve communication between two actual people.
You Don’t Need to Turn Your Life Into a Training Programme
Discipline, progress and personal development can be relevant to some of the work I do, particularly when somebody chooses to work with me through Dominatrix Life Coaching.
But that’s not what every BDSM session with me is about.
You can see me because there’s something you enjoy and you want to explore it. You can have experience already. You can be relatively new. You can enjoy obedience without wanting me to restructure your entire life.
Sometimes kink can simply be something we both have fun with.
So, How Do You Satisfy This Ebony Dominatrix?
There isn’t a secret formula.
Communicate properly before we meet. Be respectful of my time. Answer the questions I ask you. Understand and communicate your boundaries. Listen when I give you direction and don’t try to quietly turn the session you’ve booked into a completely different one.
During our time together, I want to see that you’re genuinely engaged with what’s happening. React. Communicate. Allow yourself to enjoy it.
You don’t have to perform submission for me.
I’d much rather spend time with someone respectful, responsive and genuinely interested in what we’re doing together.
And, as I said at the beginning, cute gifts don’t hurt.
Seeing an Ebony Dominatrix in London
If you’ve found this article while searching for an Ebony Dominatrix, Ebony Mistress or Black Dominatrix in London, you can learn more about me and my BDSM sessions in London here.
When you contact me, tell me a little about yourself, your previous experience and what you’re interested in exploring.
And remember: if I ask you a question, answer it.